


Barney signed

by VoidLeviathan



Series: Half Life Fics among other things [1]
Category: Half-Life
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Muteness, Overthinking, Sign Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:22:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24340510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VoidLeviathan/pseuds/VoidLeviathan
Summary: Barney Calhoun didn't always talk. Part of the reason he even started was out of surviving instinct, the other part out of fear. He became a strong voice for the people, a beacon of light among the storm. He didn't always like it.--Based on the concept that Barney was selectively mute like Gordon before the incidents of Half Life 1 pushed him into speaking.
Relationships: Barney Calhoun & Gordon Freeman, Barney Calhoun/Gordon Freeman
Series: Half Life Fics among other things [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757260
Comments: 4
Kudos: 136





	Barney signed

**Author's Note:**

> Any errors and typos will be fixed as I see em'  
> I dont usually have others read over fics.

"I think...maybe I should explain everything…" 

Barney shuffled his feet nervously where he sat. Hands clenching and unclenching in his lap while he tried to form the right set of words in his head.

What was there to say?

'Hey Gordon I can talk now!'

Barney Calhoun didn't always talk. Part of the reason he even started was out of surviving instinct, the other part out of fear. He became a strong voice for the people, a beacon of light among the storm. He didn't always like it.

He wished he could be quiet again.

"I don't know where to start." 

" _You don't have to._ " Gordon signed.

Signed 

Something Barney never quite did as frequently when finding his voice.

He wanted to cry honestly. The more he thought about it the more he realized just how many years it had been since he felt like himself. The time missed when he didn't speak at all and simply signed away what he was thinking or wanted to say. He wished it were then and that now wasn't their current situation.

A hand made its way into his. He didn't know when he stopped squeezing his own together as hard as he was, but the feeling of someone holding his hand was comforting.

"Where do I start?" He asked again.

Gordon decided to ignore his questions. To take him into his arms instead. They could start another time. Answers didn't need to be rushed now.

It only just hit Barney that this was actually Gordon Freeman next to him. Holding him. Comforting him when he didn't quite ask to be comforted. The same Gordon Freeman he swore he saw dead only twenty years ago. He starts to cry thinking about the years he spent wishing for any sign that Gordon was alive. Wishing what he saw wasn't true.

He'll spend plenty more years freshening up his sign language and reminding himself that Gordon is here alive and safe. The same Gordon who didn't bother him about his selective muteness and in turn expressed that he himself was mute as well.

For now Gordon holds him there, silent as ever, listening to the soft hiccups and whimpers that came from years of living in fear among the battle field. Being forced to do things you'd wished weren't actually happening. Gordon wonders what Barney had seen in those twenty years that he himself has yet to see. Would he have been forced into talking if he was around at the time? Would he have been able to save Barney from having to bare that burden after living so long without having to talk at all?

Gordon could only wonder. He was happy to be holding Barney now at the very least.

"I feel like a doofus...forgetting you haven't even heard me talk before." Barney sniffles, a small laugh between soft cries. "I guess I can say I uh- started talking around when everything happened? It didn't sound nearly as good as this. You absolutely would have found me unattractive."

It was Gordon's turn to laugh. Lightly swatting Barney on the back of the head for his joke. Thankfully it only made Barney laugh more in turn.

"I miss not having to talk. It's...stressful you know? But it helps people when they need a voice to guide them. Maybe it was destiny huh? Strengthening my speech for them...maybe it can be for you too. I'll talk so you won't have to." He paused, thoughts wanting to spiral once again in attempts to accumulate the right words. "If...you want to...if you uh-" another pause, "If you want to sign again? To talk to each other? I'm a little rusty but I-..."

" _ Thank you. _ " Gordon carefully signed, positive Barney could see. " _ I missed you… _ "

"I missed you too. I-" Barney's brain told him to cry again. He attempted to blink away the tears, keep them from spilling. That didn't last long.

" _ I missed you too. _ " Barney signed.

**Author's Note:**

> Its short, but it was an absolute treat to write for the concept that Barney was mute much like Gordon since he doesn't talk at all in Blue Shift but does talk in Half Life 2. 
> 
> Once again my tumblr is Pan-Crow if you ever wanna drop in and chat. Hope yall enjoyed the little fic.


End file.
